


Moment of Tangency

by Rose_Bride



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Character Study, Gen, I swear I love Nanami, I'm not trying to make her suffer, Introspection, Just for the hell of it, Memory Alteration, Post-Canon, Repressed Memories, Sexual Harassment, This is basically my take, Utena Future Zine, after graduating Ohtori, on how Nanami's life would have been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-05 21:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17926835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Bride/pseuds/Rose_Bride
Summary: The outside world has left Nanami en enbittered woman, down on her luck and with little hope. A chance encounter with an old classmate helps her get back on her feet.This is my work for theUtena Future Zine!Now available for downloadhere!





	Moment of Tangency

_‘I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to get up, I don’t…’_

But the music on the radio got louder and louder and she knew the moment the annoying voice of the conductor came in she would be unable to go back to sleep, what time was it anyway? Without removing the covers her hand fished for her cellphone.

7:05 am.

She had an interview at 9:00 am.

_‘Uugh... I will count until ten, and then I’ll wake up...”_

One, two, three, four...

“Damn it!” Nanami kicked the bed covers and got up, feeling her messy hair falling around her shoulders, she had to blink a few times and scroll down her phone to finally wake up and start for the day.

There, perched on the bathroom room were the clothes she prepared for today, somehow... they looked better last night, she didn’t like how the dark blue looked a little too ...dark, as if she was going to a funeral rather than (hopefully) to work.

She didn’t have time to go through her clothes again.

That was what she kept telling herself as she opened her closet, pulling out shirts and pants... or maybe a skirt would do? Nanami shook her head, skirts made you look juvenile and they were not professional; but none of the combinations made her feel satisfied.

But then a pale yellow shirt from way below all her stuff peeked at her, in her mind she already knew the color would be perfect; even though it was obvious the shirt was old for her not to remember when she bought it, it didn’t look worn off, the color wasn’t too vibrant that it stung your eye, in fact it was the perfect shade to compliment her hair...

Of course the universe loved to bait her, because when she lifted it to her eyes there it was:  the garish logo of a restaurant, the one where she had first worked as a waitress for almost a year.

_‘Why do I even still have this?’_ She wondered and for a full minute she could only remember the embarrassment of it, all the shifts, the rude and lechery customers and the miserable pay... when she opened her eyes the shirt was crumpled in her hands with such force that it felt like she could have teared it apart piece by piece...

She couldn’t afford to throw away a perfectly good shirt though.

And with the perfect accessories, vest and jacket, nobody would be able to look at the logo in the shirt (Why did it have to be printed? if it only was sewn in...).

Nanami resigned herself and went to make herself a quick breakfast, a quick make over, a quick hairdo and quickly started to gather everything she would need; train ticket? Check, money? Check, keys? Check, phone? Check!

_‘Best of luck to myself!’_

ᴥ

“Watch were you’re going!” She got up to her feet before anyone noticed she had fallen, wincing when she felt a pang in her knee.

Fortunately her pants had not sustained any damage or stain, but she still looked around, ready to yell at the guilty person who crashed into her-

“Oh god! I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” The woman in question didn’t seem to notice how angry Nanami was, there was nothing remarkable about her: medium height, brown hair and average complexion, the most noteworthy thing about her was her shrilling voice that made her want to get away as soon as possible.

Nanami was not in the mood for this. She tried to walk past her, but the woman quickly stood on her way.

“Move! I’m gonna lose my train or do you want me to be late too?” She practically growled.

“Oh, sorry you’re right! Let me pay you for a cab then!” The woman said again and when Nanami saw her reach for her purse she lost it.

“Who the hell do you think I am!? I don’t _need_ for your charity!” Once she said this, Nanami stormed out without even waiting for an answer, she didn’t need to arrive in a cab, she didn’t want to, and she most definitely didn’t want to own some random woman in the street a favor so she just kept walking to her station.

Dread filled her every time she saw the train cart full of people almost squished against the windows, when some people came out of she realized that she needed to be quick, otherwise she would have to take the next train, she was quick to walk past all the people next to her and secure her place.

Commuting using the train was a living nightmare.

Unfortunately it was also the cheapest and faster, so it wasn’t like she had lots of options, meaning that here she was, squished between dozens upon dozens of employees, both men and women, she looked with envy to the ones that wore their casual clothes and comfortable shoes, no, not because they have super nice clothes – they were all cheap common clothes anyway – but because it meant that they already had a job and their office uniform waiting for them.

She teared her eyes away from the sight, her station was the last one in the route anyway so by the time she made it, and the train would most likely be empty anyway.

ᴥ

It was packed.

The place where they would all be waiting for their interviews was packed, and she hated herself for admitting this – only in her thoughts, _never_ out loud – but they all resembled her: wearing their best clothes, their hair done modestly but still professional...

She didn’t want to think about it anymore and just walked to the receptionist, gave her name and her papers and sat, far away from the other girls chatting away in purpose.

It was a long time, or at least it felt like a really long time, even the games and apps she had in her phone didn’t do much to distract her, her shoes tapped fast onto the floors and looked around the place looking for something, anything to focus on that wasn’t the clock on the wall, but there was nothing.

“Kiryuu Nanami?” She perked up immediately when she heard her name and entered the office the lady at the desk signaled for.

Inside there was an old man, his wrinkles and glasses made Nanami think vaguely of a grandpa, but she already knew companies put their best ‘face’ for these things, so she had to be careful with what she said.

“Miss Kiryuu? Please take a seat?” Ugh, even his voice sounded gentle and soft, no doubt this guy was a professional.

“Pleased to meet you.” Nanami put on her best smile and used her perfect posture – one that allowed her to make use of her best assets without looking unprofessional – and answered his questions, most of them were the usual:  her age, experience, career, how did she find out about the position, etc.

“Excellent Miss, now, everything seems to be in order, but may I ask when can we expect your family registry? It’s not an optional requisite.”

And just like that Nanami knew it was a lost cause.

ᴥ

It was just another day; tomorrow would be another.

Nanami put these words on repeat while she waited for the train back home, but the fact that she had lost not just the morning but the entire day in that office and that she was starting to see a lot of people who were coming back from work didn’t really help her mood, so she got ready to squish herself once more for the sake of arriving to her apartment and forget this entire day had happened.

Once inside the train, trapped between a woman who had her case in front of her which dug painfully into her shoulder and a guy whose breaths were hitting her right in the face, the world decided once more play her for a fool.

Because she felt a hand –  a grown man’s hand – going from her back then to her butt.

For a full minute her mind went blank because she couldn’t believe on top of everything this had happened to her now, the moment it finally dawned on her what was happened she tried to squirm to get away from the groping but it only resulted on the people throwing dirty looks at her, and her arms were now twisted in weird angle that would probably result on more pain later on.

She was trapped.

During the entire trip until the next station she tried to think of the things she needed to buy for the week, tried to make the budget too, tried to remember the lyrics of that one song in the radio she really liked it, anything to not think about the hand on her.

_‘Only a bit more Nanami, only a little more, hang in there, then you can unleash all your fury onto them and…’_

**ARRIVING TO THE STATION, PLESE CLEAR UP THE ENTRANCE.**

What?!

The thought got stuck on her head when she was almost barreled by a group of people all hurrying past here, she was sure she might have given a few turns in between people and maybe earned a couple of bruises from the things people were carrying and scrapping her in the meantime.

After she was able to focus again she realized the car was almost empty again except for a couple of old ladies.

“You got to be kidding me!” Her heels stomped on the floor and she stormed out of the cart, maybe if she hurried she would be able to-

Nothing, there were too many people on the platform and most of them were dressed the same.

“You pervert!!!” The yelling doesn’t come from her but from behind her where a security guard is standing in front of a woman and another man who looks like wants to get away, especially because the yelling starts to attract attention from everyone else.

He can’t of course because a lithe as looks the woman has an iron grip on his wrist, when she tries to get close, she can see the guard is not taking seriously anything the woman says, if anything he looks bored and other people are doing nothing but whisper around them.

“I know what I saw!!” The woman suddenly looks around her and fixes her eyes on Nanami and she just froze in place. “Nanami you tell them! He groped you! I saw him!!”

It’s in that moment that she realizes is the same woman from this morning, the one who made her trip and apparently decided she looked pitiful enough to offer her a ride! Nanami had half her mind to disagree with her – she still felt her teeth grind at the thought – and embarrass her, but when she looked at the guy who was doing his best to look as if he was completely innocent.

She had no way of knowing if had been the pervert who grabbed her butt, it had been impossible for her to see anything about the man, but the shifty way he looked when Nanami tried to look into his eyes made her realize that even if he didn’t grab her, he had definitely done that to someone else.

Or maybe not, in true Nanami was just tired of being a cosmic plaything for the day, let someone else take the brunt for her.

So, she summoned her best laugh and pointed at the man with all her might.

“You pervert!” She yelled. “You took advantage of me! I could see your dirty face when you grabbed me! In. my. Ass. And now you’re trying to get away with it!! Like hell I will let you do it!” She grabbed her phone and snapped a shot from the guy, who was now so scared that he looked blue in the face. “And you!” She pointed to the guard now who flinched when she pointed at him. “Isn’t your job to attend to all security matters in the platform? Aren’t you supposed to make people feel safe? Well, I can tell I didn’t feel safe, I’m disgusted by this man, but I’m more disgusted by you! Who don’t even bother to take their job seriously and allow scum like him to get away with things?” She snapped another shot of him, making sure his plaque and name were visible on her picture – she knew the camera with 10 megapixels had been worth it – and she showed it to him. “Just so you know if you don’t process this complain, I’m not gonna bother with your bosses, I’m going to post these on the internet and you will be ruined along with these man’s reputation!”

“Well, you heard her? Is that what you want?” The woman who had been looking shocked while she was yelling was now standing next to her looking proud. “You know nowadays, news fly right?”

Both men shared a dismayed look specially when other people were pulling out their phones too, some of them taking pictures others were probably tweeting about it and the guard finally escorted Nanami to his office.

ᴥ

After filling out some papers and giving out her information, and also gotten the information from the man, who had to be detained until actual police arrive from the looks of it, she excused herself, she didn’t want to make more of a deal than it already was, and at the very least she still had the pictures in case she found the same idiot again.

Nanami doubted anything would come out of the whole thing, but at the very least it had improved her mood a lot.

“That was so cool Nanami!” She almost screeched when she chirpy voice of the _same_ woman caught her off guard. “I can’t believe what you actually threatened that guy!”

Wait… how did this broad even knew her name, even before when she called it, Nanami had been a little to swept into getting some well-deserved retribution to think about it too hard, but she had no idea who this woman was, she knew her name and this was the second time in a row that she conveniently found her…

Oh dear, was she dealing with a stalker?

“I can’t believe I found you here! It’s been so long since we were both in Ohtori Academy right?”

Or maybe not… was she a classmate? She looked around the same age as her, although it was hard to tell, she couldn’t have been one of her friends or popular people because she was sure she would remember that, but she was talking to her so casually, there was no other alternative.

 “Y-yes! I suppose it has!” And she didn’t feel like making a fool out of herself for a second time in a single day.

“We have so much to catch up to! Oh, I know!” How could a grown woman look this excited and skip like that and not break her heel? It was a mystery for her. “Let’s have dinner together!”

In any other time Nanami would have been freaked out about having someone’s face so close to hers, but this time she took the chance to get a good look at her, to see if any feature struck a chord with her.

…Nothing, just like this morning her appearance was completely normal and that meant completely unremarkable and forgettable too. She did have a very large forehead though, still, she had her hair styled in a way that it complemented her features rather than call attention to it, Nanami would give her that much.

“Dinner? Uh…” She was actually very hungry, because she had spent the entire day at the office waiting for her interview, Nanami had not gotten any lunch, breakfast had been her only meal… but it’s already the second half of the month and she can’t afford to eat out, she has a bunch of cup ramen waiting for her at theapartment. “I don’t know, it’s pretty late and…”

“Oh come on!” The woman took her hand this time and got the most ridiculous face on her, teary eyes and pouting almost resembling a puppy. “I’m inviting you so dinner it’s on me!”

From all the things that could bait her, those were the ones she couldn’t refute.

And her belly decided to answer in her place.

ᴥ

She didn’t have a bad taste in restaurants, Nanami decided.

Even if it wasn’t anything too fancy – and really those types of restaurants where for romantic dates, not for friendly outings – the place had a warm and welcoming atmosphere, it also had the added bonus of having booths so they could have some privacy even if they were only two people, and the food smelled delicious, she hadn’t had lots of filling meals in a while now.

It was funny really, years ago she wouldn’t have even thought about putting a foot inside one of these… family restaurants.

Once they were seated and the waitress gave them a couple of menus, the woman kept chatting about their days back at school and despite herself Nanami tried not to let the guilt gnaw at her gut, because she really couldn’t be making out stuff on the spot and the fact she was buying her a meal… people did not do that for strangers they met for five minutes during middle school.

“…Anyway, that was quite a graduation ceremony! Some of my college buddies still tell the story whenever we get together and I think from that moment on, the rules on formal clothing were much more specific!” She laughed when she finished saying this and Nanami tried not to make herself sound too fake, lost in her musing she had not heard a word of what she said.

The waitress bringing them their drinks bought her some time.

“That sounds like quite a story, mmmh, how about in middle school though? We had some pretty weird stories right?” That’s right maybe if she shared a story she might remember! Or at least pretend until the food came and the bill was paid.

The woman looked like she was thinking for a long moment, she looked straight at her, not a hard stare or judging in anyway, but Nanami still felt as if she was being examined.

“Say…” She paused to take a sip of her drink.  “…you don’t really know who I am right?”

Time stopped and it was hard to breath because she was busy sputtering the water, her nose burned because she had asked it to be ice cold and godammit, this woman did it on purpose because this was the most ridiculous thing that could happen to her. She also felt someone patting her back and putting a napkin close to her mouth.

“Wakaba, what happened?” It was probably the waitress.

“Sorry, sorry, that was my fault.”

Wakaba…

_‘ ~~Utena~~ , aren’t you going to give a present to your best friend in the entire world?’_

Who was the person who kept saying that? In her mind Nanami saw a girl, she couldn’t see her face clearly, the only thing she remembered was that she was a tomboy, countless of memories of this girl playing rowdy sports, wearing boy’s clothes, talking like a boy and with overall unladylike manners, the girl annoys her to no end, of that she is sure because she feels a vein in her head throb at the mere sight of her. There is also another girl, this one doesn’t annoy her, she wishes she would only annoy her, but no, the knot on her stomach and the chills running down her back whenever that girl was concerned were real and always made her feel like she entered a lion’s den.

Next to her, the tomboy girl’s oddness was welcome.

And of course she thinks she remembers another girl, she’s always there too, always following the other two around as if she was a puppy, she’s not annoying or scary like the them, she doesn’t remember anything about her, only her trailing behind the other two girls.

“Nanami? Are you alright? Can you see me? How many fingers am I holding?”

“I’m fine!!!” She yelled to whoever was holding three fingers right into her face, of course that attracted the attention of the other customers and Nanami wished she could sink into her seat.

“Sorry, you weren’t reacting and I was afraid you had choked or something.” She sounded genuinely sorry and that alone made her back down, also because she still felt her throat sore.

“I’m sorry Miss, was the water too cold? I can bring you more.” The waitress while weel-intentioned, looked less concerned for Nanami and more for being written up by her manager.

She couldn’t say she blamed her.

“Another glass is fine, thank you.”

“Right away Miss, oh Wakaba are you on shift tonight?” The waitress was talking to Wakaba now.

“No, I asked the day off.” Said Wakaba denying with her head.

The fell into an awkward silence after that, how could they not? How was she supposed to talk to her now that she outed herself as not really knowing her? They didn’t have any shared interest or hobbies and didn’t even seem to frequent the same circles as to ask about that either.

Then again it wasn’t like Nanami had kept in touch with her old classmates.

“So… you work here?” She has no trouble picturing Wakaba in the role of a waitress, she was tact, patient and give off was friendly enough to make small talk to customers, all things she herself absolutely failed at. “You don’t look like one to work on night shift though.”

She realized too soon that she had spoked the last thing out loud, Wakaba seemed to realize too and giggled a little.

“All my shifts are at night Nanami, I’m a bartender.” She pointed to the bar where right now there was another older guy mixing and serving drinks. “Mr. Kobayashi is going to retire soon, and he’s teaching me all he knows before that, so I guess you could say I’m like an apprentice.”

Nanami didn’t even knew women were permitted to become bartenders and she stopped herself right in time, that would have probably been rude and she had already called her a goody-two-shoes before, but what did she even knew about Wakaba to know if this was expected from her? She didn’t even remember her 5 minutes ago and what she remembered was so small that she could laugh at herself.

“So, Nanami what have you been up to? I noticed this morning that you were going to the corporate district.” Wakaba’s enthusiasm and self-contented smile was contagious and she found herself smiling too, wishing to have something exciting to share, something worth of her attention.

_‘Not much, I was going to an interview, after finishing college, a gig as an intern I have been between jobs for the past year.’_ Hmph, didn’t that sound pathetic?

While she thought about this, the waitress had finally brought their food, but Nanami had lost her apetite.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Wakaba apologized, even thought she was only making small talk, she was definitely nicer than herself. “I can only imagine how it has been for you and your brother.”

If a bull had entered the restaurant, trashed everything around just to take Nanami on its back to a faraway island, she would feel less shocked than she felt now and of course the shock gave way to embarrassment, the way Wakaba used her hand to cover half of her face was enough confirmation that she _knew_ and that she was aware that she wasn’t supposed to know.

Ugh, her day couldn’t possibly suck anymore so she may as well get on with it.

“What else there is to say? That as it turned out neither me or Touga were our parents’ real children?” Back in school Nanami had thought that was the worst thing that had happened her, now she wished that was the only secret. “And not only that, we weren’t actually adopted, we were _bought_ off, kept and groomed only to fulfill their wishes and ambitions, and that when Touga and I refused to do what they demanded from us – I was _eighteen_ when they wanted me married off to a business partner who was old enough to be my _grandfather_ – we were thrown out from the house and disowned?” Disown was such a proper word because they had been nothing but property to these people. “So go ahead and pity me, laugh in my face like I did to you and your friends so long ago.”

Nanami doesn’t want to look up to see Wakaba’s eyes, filling with disdain or pity.

“I… don’t want to do that.” Is the only thing Wakaba said, “I just thought I could cheer you up because you look so… tired”

Tired? Yes, that was the perfect word to describe how she had been feeling for quite a while now, not physically tired, but mentally and emotionally tired and done with everything around her.

“Do you ever wish things would have gone different? To just… give in to what people wanted from you?” It was a good question one that she herself had asked herself many times.

“There are… many things that I regret, sometimes I like telling to myself that if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would do things different, better…” What she kept to herself though, was that another part of her knew she wouldn't do anything to change. “… And I do wish someone would have told me how hard it was to simply live by, how expensive it is, how many basic skills you need and I never learned until I had no one to lean onto than my equally incompetent brother.” There had been many times when she had become tempted to run back and beg for forgiveness and promise to be a good girl this time but… “No, I still wouldn’t do it.”

How could she? After a particularly nasty fight with Touga about it which had led to a very unceremonious reveal of what exactly their so-called parents had ‘requested’ from him, what they had took from him right under her nose.

“How do you know?” Nanami asked, she knew that it couldn't be Touga, he had nothing to gain from a girl like Wakaba.

“I don’t know if I should tell you, you would probably go hunt him down.” Wakaba laughed a little but it was obvious she wasn’t entirely kidding on the last sentence.

And there was only another person close enough to either of them to know the full story, and yes, Nanami could feel her fists balling at her sides and her mind was relishing into some payback fantasies.

“Idiot, as if I have time to waste on doing any of that.” After all, she knew he and Touga were still in contact, if she had wanted she would have no troubles contacting him, he had been the first one to reach out to them and had acted so sickly concerned that it was disgusting, her bruised pride had not let her think anything else back then.

“You know? At first I thought that you had not changed at all, but that was silly of me to think right? Everyone changes, you, your brother, even Saionji.” The blush that crept to Nanami’s face was not unwelcomed, it made her feel giddy even.

“I guess…” She picked the fork and started to play a little with her food, not knowing what to say in exchange, she had no frame of reference to know if Wakaba had changed… she did remember one thing though. “Well, feel proud of yourself, without his annoying fanclub around, you can finally have Saionli for yourself right?”

After all, if he had confided Wakaba with such sensitive information that meant they were in more than just speaking terms.

She didn’t expect the laughter that came from Wakaba.

“Oh I hardly doubt it, I’m not his type, and he’s no longer mine either.” Had that been because they both changed or because now adulthood gave them new perspectives, more options?   “You know?” She doubted for a second and her voice got quitter. “Back then, he practically begged me to talk to the manager about getting you a job.”

That was when Nanami _finally_ noticed the name of the place on the cups and the napkins: it was the same name as the place she started her life as a working girl, the same name printed on the shirt she had so carefully hidden.

“Is not the same, I doubt your memory is that bad.” She laughed again. “the owner has a couple places all over the city and the prefecture….”

The only reason Nanami is not banging her head against the table is because she wants to think she still has a minimum of manners, she just started eating her meal, which had already gotten cold, but beggars can’t be choosers, they both ate in silence for quite a while, the only sounds coming from them were the cutlery scrapping against the plates.

“Hey Nanami…” Wakaba started. “You think we could hang out again? It’s nice to have someone from school to talk to.” She was smiling again, and Nanami could now see why people – even people like Saoinji – wanted to keep talking to her: it was easy, she didn’t have any grandiose expectations of people or even herself and life, it was… normal, comfortable.

“I… guess I can make a place on my schedule.” She exchanged phones with her without many words, and when she checked it, she couldn’t help notice there was another number she added.

“I don’t want to meddle, but maybe you too could call Saionji every once in a while?” Wakaba didn’t say that he too worried about her, but the sentiment was there nonetheless.

Nanami didn’t know what to say, all this new information didn’t let her think clearly and now she felt like she really had to re-acquaintance herself with the guy, only to see if he really was not an idiot anymore.

“Maybe.” She immediately took another bite, she had a lot of things to think about.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Even if Nanami was disowned, I think she and Touga would be likely to keep the Kiryuu name’s pronunciation and just change the kanjis conforming it.  
> 2\. Being adopted in Japan carries a lot of baggage from what I’ve heard, and people being found out having adopted or being adopted is apparently source of shame, i can't help but think that this also forms part of Nanami's grief when she finds out in the series, given she places such importance on social status.  
> 3\. The family registry is Japan (or koseki) is a public document where people can track down their ancestors, is actually standard practice for job interview to request this document supposedly for background checking, but it can also be used for unsavory purposes like precisely finding out if someone was adopted or just plain discrimination, attempts have been made to outlaw this practice but it has always been unsuccesful  
> 4\. As for the title, the dictionary of obscure sorrows defines it as “glimpse of what could have been”


End file.
